Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. One thing you should know is that the root of narcissism is a deep sense of insecurity, which they try to compensate for by controlling everyone and everything they can. Narcissists can be charming and charismatic, but their self-centered nature can lead to toxic relationships and destructive behavior. These are some easy-to-spot traits of a narcissist:
1. Grandiosity and Entitlement:
Narcissists have an exaggerated sense of importance, power, knowledge, or identity—even with little evidence to support these beliefs. They believe they are superior to others, deserving of special treatment and admiration. A partner who constantly brags about their success (could be in career, financial, asset acquisition, or anything) while downplaying their partner’s accomplishments is highly likely to be a narcissist.
2. A Narcissist Was Incredibly Charming At The Beginning Of The Relationship
If you’re questioning your partner’s treatment, take a moment to reflect on the beginnings of your relationship. Remember how they acted in those early days. Were you showered with adoration and respect? Did they express their affection with gifts and prioritize spending time with you? Now, honestly assess whether that behavior persists.
It’s natural for relationships to evolve, and not every day will be perfect. However, genuine affection and mutual respect should remain consistent. Hence, if your partner’s treatment has drastically shifted from lavishing you with attention to dismissing your needs, it could be a sign of narcissistic behavior.
Narcissists often employ a tactic called “love bombing” at the start of a relationship. They overwhelm you with affection and attention to quickly establish a strong emotional bond. Later, they withdraw this affection, leaving you feeling confused and devalued, as if you were no longer the person they once cherished. This deliberate manipulation is used to gain control and leave you emotionally dependent.
3. Lack of Empathy:
Narcissists struggle to understand or care about the feelings of others. They may be dismissive of your emotions, exploit you for their own gain, and lack genuine concern for your well-being.
4. Need for Admiration:
Narcissists crave constant attention and validation. They may seek out compliments, fish for praise, and become jealous of others who receive recognition.
5. Exploitative Behavior:
Narcissists love to take advantage of others, using them for their own gain without regard for their feelings or well-being. They will always want to take advantage of your kindness or love. They typically can ignore for a significant period of time but reach out to you when they need you to do something for them. A partner who expects you to do all the housework and childcare, while they pursue their own interests. They may also borrow money and never repay it, or use your connections for personal gain.
6. Arrogance and Haughtiness:
Narcissists have a condescending attitude towards others, believing themselves to be superior and more important. They may belittle others, make snide comments, and dismiss their opinions.A partner who constantly criticizes your friends and family, talks down to you, and dismisses your ideas as unimportant.
7. Envy and Jealousy:
Narcissists may be envious of the accomplishments and possessions of others, and become jealous of anyone who receives attention or admiration. This is usually because they sense competition (which is hurtful to their ego)
A partner who becomes jealous of your friends, colleagues, or hobbies could be a narcissist. Such a person can sabotage your successes or undermine your relationships if that will make him feel superior.
8. Lack of Emotional Depth:
Narcissists may have difficulty experiencing genuine emotions such as empathy, compassion, and intimacy. Their relationships may feel superficial or one-sided.
9. Manipulative Behavior:
Narcissists are extremely manipulative and this is the most dangerous side of them. They are skilled manipulators who use a variety of tactics to control and exploit others. These tactics may include gaslighting, love bombing, guilt-tripping, playing the victim and many others. These strategies are meant to make you feel like you are at fault for everything that goes wrong in the relationship. This could be very harmful to your personality and mental health as you might develop the habit of overthinking or constant low self-esteem.
10. Always Violating Boundaries:
Because narcissists lack empathy, they fail to recognize or respect the boundaries of others. They feel rules do not apply to them. They may push for information you’re not comfortable sharing, demand your time and attention, or ignore your requests for space. Also, their inflated sense of self-importance leads them to believe they are above rules and expectations. They may disregard social norms, break promises, or expect special treatment, even when it inconveniences others. Boundaries are an outline of what behaviors you will and will not tolerate, which to a narcissist will feel like having a lack of control. Because of this, narcissists will often blatantly and purposefully ignore your boundaries in order to regain a semblance of control.
11. Every Conversation Is About Them:
The topic of conversation is always redirected toward their life and experiences. They will often interrupt you in order to bring the attention back to themselves with comments about an incident in their past or an accomplishment of theirs. In the case where your opinion differs from theirs, they might correct you, dismiss you, or give you the silent treatment.
In conclusion, if you constantly feel confused, anxious, or like you’re walking on eggshells in your relationship, then you might be dating a narcissistic person. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it can be extremely difficult and emotionally draining. However, this does not mean one cannot keep them as their life partner. Hence, it is highly advisable to seek medical help if one wants to continue life with such a person as his or her partner.
Read Also: Characteristics of Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships
